Tuesday 17 July 2012

Gunslinger Doll

My favourite girl, Triela :) (Claes is also awesome.)


There's one thing I still don't understand, and that is how I can continue going about my day to day business, pretending to be happy, pretending to be sane, forcing myself to get up every day, when I'll be dead in about forty years and nothing I did will matter to anyone.

Unbelievable how people can live for a couple decades and die quietly, completely insignificant the whole way through. How rare is it for someone to be so important or have made such a contribution to thousands of people's lives that they are immortal through time? I just don't get it. I don't see the point. But I guess that's why I'm going to counselling, and you're not.

I'm still an avid watcher of Gunslinger Girl on Netflix, and I must say, the story idea, the plot, the characters, the setting (beautiful, beautiful Italy) not to mention of course the amazing soundtrack (my favourite song is TEMA I, I think) is incredible.

I was completely unimpressed that the animation changed in the second season, Il Teatrino, doubly unimpressed that The Light Before We Land was no longer the opening theme, but Gunslinger Girl is just too good to stop watching. Ironically, I was given a compelling end credits theme instead in season two, called Doll.


It is a very beautiful song and also, somehow, very sad, maybe because I could relate to the lyrics... they made me feel so raw (being in my current situation) that as much as I love the song, it upsets me to hear it.

Chorus
Itsuka kiite hoshii kono omoi mo
Kotoba ni wa naranai kedo
Chikara no kagiri o furishibotte
Ikite iku koto o shiru kara

Chorus Translation
I want you to ask about how I feel someday
I don’t express it in words
But I muster the extent of my strength
Because I know I’m going to live

Thinking about what's happening to me now (without going into the morbid details) and thinking about those words, they make me feel relieved and sorrowful at the same time (it's a weird feeling); relieved, because 'I know I'm going to live', bitter and sad, because what's the point in living if I have to suffer?



(Above) I found a version by Aoi Tada, and her voice is very sweet and simple, like it could have been Gunslinger Girl Henrietta herself singing.

Then I found Lia's version, the one they used in the end credits, whose voice is noticeably stronger and more unique. I think I'm leaning more towards hers (below).




I wish someone could help me.

Star.
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