Sunday, 24 June 2012

Why I Am Now Buying Clothes/Shoes/Everything From China


I listed 27 old things of mine on eBay last weekend; nine of them have sold, and the biddings haven't even ended yet. Total sales so far are £32.something, and I am flipping ecstatic.

Lately, eBay and I have been terribly close. I log on, watch my stuff being bought, e-window-shop and add dozens of things to my watch list and wish list, waiting for the day I can actually, finally, buy those things. It's more addictive than I would ever have thought.

A lot of the stuff I bought/want to buy are indeed coming from that populous country of China. The great thing is that you can find a lot of clothes that have a really amazing and unique design from eBay sellers in China, and at a good price too.

The downside is that as a lot of things are sold in One Size: Regular, and what is China's Regular size is the UK and US' Small size, a lot of things are basically unaccessable to me, being a tall girl. Skirts, shorts, tops and the like are all fine. But with my long limbs, an item of clothing in Regular Asian size is instantly a problem if it has sleeves or... legs. (For want of a better word.)

Let me show you what's caught my eye...

Chiffon Skirt

Sold by (Chinese seller.)

(Ignore everything but the white skirt, bottom-right.) This skirt I had to really hunt around for. All the sellers listing it had the same colour, but it was called everything from 'White' to 'Ivory' to 'Cream' and looked that way in the pictures, even though it was clearly the same skirt. Ordered it three weeks ago thinking I could wear it for the summer.

Yeah... it arrived recently. It was Regular size, but being a skirt I didn't think I'd have a problem... obviously, I forgot about my bum. Now, many Asian girls that I know have small hips and derriere. I have small hips, but not a small derriere! Imagine my dismay when I tried this shit on. My mother and sister said it looked really nice, in fact they were going crazy about it... but I'll probably think twice about where I wear this.

Culotte Shorts

Sold by enjoyshoppinghhstore (Chinese seller.)

I have a pet love for shorts that have the appearance of skirts, aka culottes, or less imaginatively, Skorts. These don't look so much like a skirt but the pleats give it a really nice edge. I was thinking patterned tights (probably my zebra/tiger stripe ones) and nice, pretty heels. Ordered it three weeks ago and it came last week. I LOVE them. (It comes with the belt too.)

Floral Divided Skirt Playsuit

Sold by enjoyshoppinghhstore (Chinese seller.)

Yup, its our friend again (their store really does have good stuff). Divided skirt is just another way of saying culottes as a playsuit, I guess. Either way, I adored this... although having said that, there were about three left in stock when I put it in my watch list. I looked at my non-existent funds. Then I proceeded to watch the Stock count slowly go down until size 12 was no longer available. I am kinda kicking myself but I think it'll turn up again, eventually. (... it really is a nice playsuit...)

Boohoo Lara Double Breasted Playsuit

Sold by boohoo_outlet  (UK & Europe.)

This is the eBay outlet for, so naturally, they have some pretty amazing stuff of sale - AND its coming from the uk. There something about this that caught my eye. I imagined dressing it up to be a kind of Smart-Cool, or else quite punky. It's unusual formal, almost military style it quite nice. Like the playsuit, I watched all of the available items get bought. Woe me.

Jacket Of My Dreams

Sold by fashionthings2011 (Chinese seller.)

I've wanted a waistcoat for a long time... I've never found the right one, but I always imagined it would look kind of like this without sleeves. Still, I've been looking for a a blazer ever since I saw my friend Annie wear one and look amazing in it. Suggesting that I would look good in this, this is EXACTLY the type of blazer I would want, and it took me weeks of eBay searching to find it... at a sweet £20-ish.

... the 'sweet' was sarcastic. Who d'ya think I am, Bill Gates?

Elina Golden Line Tights

Sold by fiore-uk (UK seller... durh =] )

Earlier, I mentioned wearing shorts with patterned tights... well I bought these about, what, two, three weeks ago? They look amazing on this models legs. Look pretty good on my legs too but it did very clearly highlight how my legs could have been slimmer (the leaves looked a bit fat. Stretched. Whatever.)

Fiore do an amazing range of patterned tights on eBay. Not as cheap as the Chinese sellers, but I took a risk with these and it paid off. They feel amazing, clearly good quality tights. So anyone who doesn't rip tights easily and feels like giving themselves a fashion tret should take a look.

More Fiore
Sold by just-beauty-touch (UK seller.)

This is what I've been drooling over lately. I just think they're so cute. Plus, unlike the previous pair, the design is only on the ankle so the pattern won't stretch much. I'm saving up for it. (Will probably sell all of my old earrings to get it.)

Jacquard Patterned Tights
Couldn't get the picture, so click on the sellers name below to see the tights, its A033. They also have my tiger stripe tights (A031) but I actually bought those from H&M last year!
Sold by ecitygo (Chinese seller.)

Loads of great designs - all in Regular size :( no point in me buying tights if it's not in Large, my legs are too long. Of course, that didn't stop me buying A033 :) Ordered it three weeks ago and still waiting for it too arrive. Hey, if it doesn't fit, I'll pass it onto one of my sisters. It was only £1.32.

Admcity Net Socks

Sold by admcity (Chinese seller.)

I am about to give you an example of Dumb Girl Gets Excited Clicks 'Buy Now' Without Rational Thinking.

I saw the picture below (see below (heh)) a month and a bit ago, and thought the dress was a weird as heck but the shoes looked absolutely amazing. I had a bit of a frantic search on eBay with every variation on 'Net Shoes High Heels Ankle Strap Black Suede Leather etc' I could think of, and came up with nothing.

It was only after I saw a pair of Fishnet Socks on that I had a bit of a durh moment. The model is wearing plain high heels! It's the fishnet socks that give it the real edge. After laughing at myself, I looked for net socks with relentless determination. Found them quite easily from a seller in Taiwan. I couldn't stop my mouth twitching at the thought of paying £3 for ONE pair of pop socks when £3 would get me about 7 pairs in Primark but again, I decided to take a risk.

Like the tights, they feel just amazing on your feet. Feeling the texture of them makes me think they must be pretty damn good quality. I would ONLY recommend admCity fishnet socks, because unlike the others I saw listed, they have a sole and toe lining as you can see in the picture (also, they don't look cheap.)

The Picture Below


Wedge Heel

Sold by shrosy2010 (Chinese seller.)

I saw a woman last week in really cute, plain, black wedge heels. I don't normally like wedge heels but the way she styled them off changed my view drastically.

But finding that in my size is a job and a half. Depending on the type of shoe and shape of it, my size can be anything from an 8 to a nine. Which, considering, is only really 8, 8.5, and 9. *GRIN* ^_^ But if you also consider that most people only wear one size, you will understand that this is quite an incredible feat.

The greatest thing about shoes on eBay is that you can search by size - cuts down on a lot of time, as I'm going looking at shoes I know I can fit into. That's how I found these. Quite frankly, there's something really odd about them, and they're not exactly as 'plain' as I wanted... and yet, I added it to my watch list.

Shiny Wedge Heels

Sold by shrosy2010 (Chinese seller.)

Yep, same again. These wedges, I just love. If they weren't TWENTY SIX POUNDS (!!) I would've bought them straight away. (I would've found the money somehow.) To be honest, twenty six pounds is the sort of price I would expect here. They must be sturdy, good quality shoes... (which is my way of saying, they'd better fcking be if I'm forking out almost 30 quid for them.)

The pink and black have one design on the heel, blue and white has the jigsaw pattern. Leaving out black (boring) and white (daring! How fast would they get dirty?!), between pink and blue, I have to say blue. It's unsual, and the pattern on the heel is very unique. The pink is nice too, but it's outmatched this time. A shame. I do love my pink.

High Heels With A Cute Bow

Sold by waimanman (Chinese seller.)

All I will say is this. When my sister Aime saw it, she said,


Fox Ring

Sold by xiaoxiaowu1964

Normally, I wouldn't wear it. Normally, I wouldn't BUY it.

But... isn't it so cute!? Hey, starting bid at £0.01!! :)

Now, this is my most recent upset of today. Pink Bow Purse

Sold by luckyminutes

Feel free to skip my dravel about whats been bugging me lately...

To cut a long f&*$(!ng story short, I found this purse from two sellers. They only had a very limited amount in stock, about 3 each. Opting for the cheaper seller (luckyminutes), I added it to my watch list. All of a sudden, there was only one purse left, so I bought it. Four days after purchase, the seller messaged me to say that the last one is BROKEN!!!!

I want to wail :(

Even though the seller very kindly offered that I could pick another colour, or any other purse they were selling regardless of price, the irony of it was that I'd spend weeks looking for the right purse. The purse I have now is okay, a bit annoying, but I can live with it, so I wasn't going to buy another until it was exactly right, otherwise there's no point, it's just have the same problem with a newer purse. And now I'd found That Purse, I had to go and look all over again. There were some really nice ones but they all had something not QUITE right; not the right colour, coin slot too small, too many card slots, not enough card slots, too many dangling things on the front that will only just fall off with time, etc.

I just don't know what God is trying to tell me; make my peace with another purse, as I was never destined to have the first one? Or that as my heart was with the first one, ask for a refund? WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

(Oh God. This is starting to sound like Confessions Of A Shopaholic. I'm even bringing God into it. Aw man. Let me just stop.)


It's like I said - I don't have a life.
But who'd want one when you've got EBAY?!

Star xx

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Give Me The Word To Describe How I'm Feeling.

This post was going to be called 'Physical vs Digital Pt. 2', where I was going to explain about my sister Aime who loves watching the Harry Potter movies and has a better experience than those who nit-pick because they've read the books...

...until I realised, not only could I give less of a shit, but also that the subjects I'm choosing for my blog posts are becoming pitifully sad. It would be okay if I at least posted some fiction, but I've lost the courage to post any of my work even on here. I'm starting to sound like someone who needs to get a life.

Which IS true, I suppose. I don't really go out anymore. A lot of things seem pointless to me now. Mama gets sad sometimes because I don't sit down and watch a movie with her anymore or spend time with the family. It was only when she said it that I realised I don't make an effort; I just find everything so fcking tedious.

I spoke to my other sister Azure, who, though clever word-smithery, made me realise that I'm dreading going to University, the only thing that provided even the opportunity of looking forward to something. I feel like sitting on my arse and bursting into tears.

I've got just about enough money to get to work next week. Frustration is not even the word. I couldn't go to a much eagerly awaited book signing, and I won't be able to go to the London Film And Comic Con either. Pissed is not even the word. I've got a waiting list of things I wanted to buy on eBay from months ago, and a so-called 'business' that hasn't even taken off the ground get. Infuriated is not even the WORD.

A couple of days ago, I sat down and wrote a little of Venus versus Mars, then opened The Urban Piper at Chapter 8-ish. I was completely awed at myself. I can assuredly say right now that The Urban Piper has got to be the best thing I have ever written, despite that the storyline doesn't always make sense, and the scenes aren't always relevant. Suddenly I felt a little inspired and really eager to write more, but to get back into the style I was writing in then, I had to read Chapter Seven. That left me wanting more, so I made to open Chapter Six when I realised how dumb I was being, reading the damn thing backwards. I started from the beginning, and what I found made me sad at my own memories, proud of my own small success with the story, and feeling a mixture of elation and emptyness.

The worst part is, I know that I can do it. Somewhere in me, I have the ability, the courage and the endurance to write a book and finish it. So why is it that whenever I'm looking at this screen, I get a headache? Reading The Urban Piper after so long let me see some crucial mistakes I was making. Finally I could fill some holes. That should've made me feel like I was getting somewhere, but it only made me feel tired.

Right, my head hurts. I'm going to drown or suffocate my sorrows in something; supanoodles, a book, a knife, etc. (let's start with supanoodles.)

I Am The Alter-Ego Writer, But Who Am I? (any ideas?)

S xx

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Physical Books vs Digital Books

Yesterday, I was at work unpacking the delivery, when I saw that we had two hardback copies of Ben Aaranovitch's 'Whispers Underground' in. I was so excited, I kind of made muffled squeaking noises and my colleague looked at me funny.

Still, I think I'll wait for paperback. I bought the first two in paperback and I like it when things match. :) (I just hope its in time for the book signing...)

On my way home from work yesterday, I got on the tube, perched my behind on the bit where luggage is supposed to go, then stared at everybody sitting down. On my left, every single person was staring into a touchscreen phone. Three had white Apple earphones in, another appeared to be texting, and I wasn't quite sure when exactly I'd stepped right into Zombie City. On my right, one man was playing on a Nintendo DSi. Another was reading a Kindle. And I did not see a single book.


Star xx

Saturday, 9 June 2012


It was the knife that killed me. What struck me was what a pathetically frail form a human being was. I was so alarmed by the red substance that poured from me that for a moment I had no idea what to do - it was the first time they had tried to stop me in this way.

My body shut down in a matter on minutes. The biting cold of the wind together with my grave knife wound ended it all. The pain increased dramatically beyond the spheres of any level of pain I thought human entities were capable of feeling, pain so intense that closing your eyes brings a blackness darker than the galaxy and a depth more vast than space. I crashed to the floor, rocks digging into my back as the starry sky blurred in my eyes, the tiny balls of light connecting and diluting into the same darkness I was sinking into. Death. Was this death? I was unsure. In the next moment, from my - somewhat unusual - perspective, everything ceased to exist, and the pain was no longer a feeling, and then there was nothing.

What occurred after that was of little importance. Existence after death is not so terribly complicated. Though I must say, existence after death may be different for me as it is for human beings, with all their heavens, hells, limbos, purgatories and supposed reincarnations. I just cannot imagine such intricate things. Death in itself is blissfully simple.

My consciousness escaped its bodily shell and spanned outwards, scaling the mountains, sea, forest, temple. I centred on the temple, the sanctuary that harboured those who would, as it appears, would rather see me dead. My attacker disappeared as swiftly as they appeared, but I located them now, escaping through the forest. I became aware of a little monk girl harvesting crop in the gardens at the foot of the smallest mountain, not far from the temple. I considered using her body, but the natural masculine power and dominance of human beings with the XX chromosome is what I require for my misson. Instead, I sucked her life force and transferred it to my former body, now growing cold. The basket of corn cobs drop from her hands. Her body crumples.

Grudgingly, my free consciousness re-imprisons itself in the male body I was occupying. I encouraged its heart to beat again, and its blood to rush through it. That wasn't all. As my body re-energised, I could feel something else changing; my psyche, my preferences, my... how would you say... I suppose it could be termed as the wiring in my brain. My 'love' for sport diminished, and was replaced by a great fondess for music. The colour red suddenly appealed to me. My taste buds decided they loved a peculiar fish dish called sushi more than anything else in the world - a dish they have never tried. My fingers were tricked into thinking they were nimble enough to play the harp, and as I assumed more talents and thought patterned of the dead monk girl, I noted all with interest.

Complicated things, human beings.

With a sigh -
 a sound I quite like making, I've found - I hoisted myself to my feet and continued my journey to the temple. I commended the monks' attempts to halt my coming, and I sympathised that human beings react in such rash ways when paralysed with fear... however, I'm sure they realise their attempts have been in vain. Perhaps I can use the example of myself to make them realise that the coming threat that I have travelled so far to warn them of cannot be killed so easily either.


This idea came to me while thinking about Octavia Butler's book Wild Seed.
I had to write this out immediately.

Day 6
Star xx

Friday, 8 June 2012

Rob Thomas - Little Wonders

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder,
Don't you know, the hardest part is over,
Let it in, let your clarity define you
In the end, we will only just remember how it feels.

Our lives are made,
In these small hours,
These little wonders,
These twists and turns of fate.
Time falls away,
But these small hours... these small hours
Still remain.

Day 5
Star xx

Thursday, 7 June 2012

About - Time-Travel

*please mind the gap between the spoilers and the blogpost. (it means there's spoilers, ignoramus.)*

I want to write a book on time-travel theories. I know. I don't know what the heck I just said either. I don't even watch Doctor Who.

But there is still something about the whole concept that appeals to me. I don't reeeally like watching time/dimensional-travel things, not because I don't like them, but because the possibilities are so vast that it kinda scares me. The idea of changing something in the past that will rob you of everything you know in the future, that's just frightening.

Just think about Sliders. They create some freaking warp-portal-thing, next thing you know, they're all doomed to wander though dimension after dimension until they can find their way home, and as there are millions of possible realities and dimensions, the chances of that happening are about zero. Maybe there's an actual decimal figure to represent what your chances are, but it has so many noughts after the decimal point that you might as well call it zero. Or infinity.

Parry Trotter

I liked the Harry Potter time-travel, I suppose. That wasn't as scary as some versions of the same thing might have been. In The Prisoner Of Askaban, Harry and Hermione have to go back in time to save the day as usual, only in this instance of time-travel, it's like they're bystanders. Kind of. They can see themselves doing all the things they did, but they're not ghosts and they're not floating orbs of consciousness. They're physical, like copies, or clones; they can touch and communicate with things as if they were the Original Harry and Hermione. Even their past selves, if they wanted to.

I'd never heard of that type of time-travel before. I'm used to people going back into their own bodies, taking with them all the knowledge they gained in the future so they can stop whatever happened that time from happening this time. But... really? If you went back into your own body, what if you only knew what you knew the first time round you were living that period of time. Thinking about it is weird.


The most mind-boggling bit about time-travel is that unless they've been there and done it, no-one can EVER accurately predict how or if things would change. We can only speculate, and a lot of speculations I've heard have been unbelievably crap. You mean to tell me that you went to the past, changed a bunch of shit and returned to the present with your memory of the travel intact and nothing has changed?

Okay - one.

What is the guarantee that you'll retain that memory? If you continued to live out that timeline, maybe. But if your RETURNED to the present/future instantly, who can say? It's the world as you know it, so maybe you wouldn't notice a difference. But who knows. Maybe you would say, "Hang on... this isn't right.... this isn't supposed to be like this, I must have changed the future!!!!"

Aaand two.

I've always wondered about this, because I hardly ever see it in science fiction - shouldn't the very fact that you travelled to the past changed the present/future? Say you went to the past and did NOTHING, just stood in a particular spot for two minutes and returned to your time. The very fact that you travelled through time was DIFFERENT to the original timeline. Maybe your footprints were a home to some bugs. Maybe your presence made more carbon dioxide and less oxygen in the air that originally would have been. Maybe you just behaved differently with your knowledge of having made the travel. Shouldn't that mean that the present is different the moment you get back?

Hmm! That reminds me a little bit of The Butterfly Effect, which I love (as scary as it is), and also this film that I think is called A Sound Of Thunder, also surprisingly good. I don't know why 'surprisingly', maybe because it started off slow. Can't remember. I love musing about pointlessness like this. Pointless now, yes...

... but once I've found a good plot from this and it's in a book, it will be pointless no more.

Star's Dream:
The Warning/Philosophy Prophecy

At the end of March 2011, I had one of those dreams where in plot, it is incredible, in action, it is vivid and terrifying, and in trying to get the f--- out of it and wake up, its a frantic struggle.

A close colleague of mine and I had attended a Philosophy seminar, at which sat the four teachers who had tought me the subject at college. We listened with curiousity, wondering why everything said was so symbolic. As we listened, dread dawned on us. What was being said wasn't just theories, hidden in their words was a prediction that a war about to erupt. And not just that, they were telling us where to go and who our enemies were.

My colleague and I couldn't believe it. We rushed out of there and summoned up as many forces as we could military, special forces, an army full of people with every skill you could imagine. We could only get to our enemies base by ship, so we sailed. He was Captain of the ship, and I was the Master Archer. I planned to direct my archers to shoot from afar if they tried to apprehend us by water, otherwise we would quietly manoeuvre into their base and take it from there.

The point is, we failed. Pretty much our whole army died and we were about a blink away from death too when my colleague and I activated a time-travelling ability we had, that can only be worked together. Learning from out mistakes, we tried to confront the enemy again without success. Our only insurance was that we had our time-travel ability. It was like a safety-net. We could try anything we wanted and if we messed up, go back and do it again. However, on our third try we were silently ambushed and my colleague was instantly killed, cutting me off from our ability as it can only be activated together.

As the only survivor, enemy soldiers took me into the dungeons of their base and tortured me. In a fit of unbearable pain, I activated my ability alone - an utter shock to me, as I didn't know that I could. The good news is that it sent me back to the right place and time - the bad news is that without my colleague, it did not sent me back to the same timeline. At the seminar, when I tried to explain to my colleague about the impending doom, he was really confused. He didn't understand and thought I was crazy. I approached the philosophers, but they didn't believe me. I was lost in a dimension that was both the same and completely different.

Not gonna lie - despite being complicated,
my dreams can be fckin awesome.

Day 4.
Dawnstar xx

P.S. What is Doctor Who a Doctor of? Time Travel? If so, who authorised this? I'm sure there's no PhD in such a thing.

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Maria Mena - Just Hold Me depressing.

(as beautiful as it is - sorrowfully beautiful.)

Day 3.

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Duchess Of Kate-bridge

I adore Kate Middleton. No particular reason, actually. I don't know a damn think about her save that she married Prince William but still, I think she has such grace. She always wears the nicest clothes, so elegant and regal. I mean, I know she's the Duchess of Cambridge but still - she (or whoever's dressing her) has great fashion sense.

The dress above is my favourite dress EVER that I've seen her wear, even better than her wedding dress, I think. It's a Jenny Packham dress. I can confidently say that I have never heard of the woman's name before I saw this dress but I won't be forgetting it soon. 
Between her and Sarah Burton (the head of Alexander McQueen, who designed Kate Middleton's wedding dress) I'm sure I can think up a few style ideas to get me to wear more clothes out of my wardrobe.

Day 2.
Star xx

Monday, 4 June 2012


Queen Elizabeth II :)

It's Bank Holiday Monday. Despite that, my workplace is still open for business - I'm not surprised, they were open on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. Even though England is a Christian country, I don't doubt that in a decade or so, every business will be open 24 hours on every single day of the year without fail. It's kind of inevitable. There's too many people who love money.

Anyway, I can't complain - not today, anyway, because I'm not working this Bank Holiday.

There are an estimate of 100,000 street parties taking place right now, celebrating the Queen's Jubilee. (Even time I think of the Queen's Jubilee, I can't help but think of Jubilee aka Jubilation Lee, who is one of my favourite X-Men and seriously underrated. One thing I will never get is why in hell the comic creators gave her the birth name Jubilation Lee if she was always going to be called Jubilee for short anyway. They're next to each other in the dictionary. Jubilation - a triumph, great happiness, etc. Jubilee - a special anniversary. Doesn't make sense, does it? In know this is the Marvel Universe, but what decent parents would name their child 'Jubilation' anyway?)

Even though I decided not to go to the street party about a minute from my house, I saved a pull-out from The Sun newspaper from last Friday (1st June) and I must say, I'm in awe at everything the Queen has lived and reigned through, from the Wars to 9/11 to Diana's death to the rise of Feminism to the age of the internet and computer technology. Must be pretty nice to stay holed up in a nice little palace, coming out to show your face once in a while. Must be a nice life. The Queen must be one strong lady. If that was me, I would just accept that the world is damned and never bloody come out.

I've been told by my doctor that I need Counselling - I'm not surprised at that either. I guess I had it coming. I feel a bit better nowadays, trying to keep myself busy. My head had been exploding with ideas for fantasy and sci-fi fiction but suddenly I can't bring myself to write them down. Instead I keep them all in my head to the point where I start living them. People have actually found me muttering to myself. Genius of crazy? Jeez, you tell me.

I've been neglecting this blog, and as a writer who can't even be bothered to write fiction regularly, that's kinda shit. So I'm thinking I'll try a seven days of consecutive blogging. Some posts will probably be only a video of photo but at least I can try to keep up with the world/myself/life. I've got loooads of notebooks at the ready - one to do Brian Tracy's Think On Paper if I feel depression in coming on again, one to do Abraham Hick's Positive Aspects Book/Positive Thinking/Tell A New And Improved Story Of Your Life, one to write my family history, one to write my family's pet's history, and one that I'm SUPPOSED to be writing my story ideas in but we haven't exactly been communicating much lately.

Lets see how it goes. I'll wake you when the worst is over.


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