Shen Yun 2014 - MUSIC

RUSH POST.

I never get tired of seeing their new yet familiar banner every year!!

I've written about Shen Yun Performing Arts before; first, when I went the first time in 2012, and again in 2013. I simply love the company, from the artistic style to the costumes, to the backdrop to the choreography to the music.

But right now, I just have to talk about that PHENOMENAL music.

I can't explain how much I love it, how much it moves me. Every time I see a trailer or a short clip, the unmistakable sound of merged Chinese and Western classical and folk music. Since Shen yun 2012, I've been trying to get my hands on a CD of the orchestral pieces used in the performance, but I can't seem to buy one anywhere. Not even Amazon!!! Good ol' Amazon!!!

I left a comment on youtube and somebody kindly responded with a link, but it leads to the company site where you can gifts and memorabilia and the like, and the only CD's there at the moment seem to be a DVD of the performance, which of course I can't put on my violet iPod. Booo. Maybe this will change. Hopefully it will. =D





Star xx

This is one of my Rush Posts - when they are all posted, you will find my NOTICE OF SUSPENSION.

Mind Numbing... Just What I Needed.

I am getting back on my feet, it's a slow process but isn't it always? I'm just glad that I don't feel as down as I did before. So, overwhelmingly relieved. My Mum can tell. It's making her a bit cheerier, and that makes me even more at peace.

I'm so thankful for the people around me, supporting me at this time. Beyond grateful.

SO, ANYWAAAAY!

I did some calculations, (looked on the blog archive list :3 ) and in 2012 I made 60 posts. That works out to be, on average, 5 a month. Which is really not that much at all! I remember not posting for ages and then posting a lot at once and then drips and drabs. Gonna try and make it consistent in 2014. I now have seven blogs in total... seven days in the week... catch ma drift...

This year, I posted 53 (I think? Including this?) Posts. I was wondering whether to do 7 more and make it even but - no. Why the heck would I do 7 posts in three days? No dude. No.

This last month has been a bit of a bummer, as I said before I haven't written much of my book. That makes me feel a bit *makes a fart noise*.

And as that's a goal very close to my heart, (buried inside, actually) the two blogs I was posting fiction on (One and Two) are sadly languishing away e_e

The one thing that has been cheering me up beyond measure is reading this manga that I have become obsessed with called Psyren, but Toshiaki Iwashiro. I hate to say it but remembering past phases of my life, I seem to be very happy when I have an unhealthy obsession with something. But look, whatever. It's manga. Manga is awesome.

I will do a review of it when I get the chance, ASAP if I can help it. I ended up reading one more volume than I was meant to, so I'm really excited for the next one and that wasn't meant to happen because it won't be released for another month or something. (e_e) That's cutting the long story short. I think between that and trying to put on motivating music, trying to sing a lot more, things are improving. I say that a lot, here and there, but I've kinda got to. I have to keep trying.

This is the sort of mind-numbing music that's been helping me get by lately. Don't usually listen to much music like this, but there are some times when I can't bear to hear myself think.




Strobe Light - by Andy Heller (SOUNDCLOUD)

Trancesaur - by _ensnare_ (YOUTUBE)

The music from this Anime Dress Up Game ^_^ (GAMES WEBSITE =] )




And all of this upbeat music brings me back to the song that got it all going...

If it's still showing, I got the heart from Glitter Graphics. I LOVED that site when I had a Myspace. Such cute things on there.

I don't know how I feel about New Year's Resolutions. I feel that on one hand, what's the point as they are always strongly linked to goals being broken.

On the other hand, I feel that just being proactive enough to ATTEMPT a change is better than doing nothing. Always. So I'm going to do the same thing I did in Jan 2013, which is change my diet. I am actually very eager for it, because when I did it last January I kept it up for 6 months. It may be one of my proudest achievements ever.



Mata ne.

Ellie Goulding Concert @ Hammersmith Apollo 2013

I'm so shattered that I can't give an account that would do the performance justice. In all honesty, I'm so bloody shattered I can't give any bloody account of anything.

BUT.

IT.

WAS.

AWESOMEEE

I'll try to write something tomorrowwwwwww

xx

Katy Perry - ROAR

I got the eye of the tiger

the fighter

dancing through the fire

cause I am a champion

and you're gonna hear me

ROAR

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Power Songs

Perfect for when I feel as f****** melancholy as I feel now. Most are from games - songs without lyrics are like a soundtrack to my life. Not just songs I like, the Power Songs. They are the most important, more than any others at the moment. There will definitely be one I've missed, but whoTF cares.

POWER SONGS

Coldplay - X&Y
Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments (EVERY TIME)
Newton Faulkner - Teardrop (can't believe I'm saying this, but I've grown to like this more than Massive Attack's original version.)
Paramore - Stuck On You
Oasis - Keep The Dream Alive
Thomas Newman - Brooks Was Here & Any Other Name, but although there is power when I listen, the songs are so sorrowful that it also provokes depression.

Jade Empire
Jack Wall - Main theme
Jack Wall - Metropolis I and II

Ergo Proxy
Monoral - Kiri

The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Fi's Theme
Fi's Gratitude
Fi's Farewell
Lanayru Sand Sea (the two notes at the beginning give me shivers. Listen in headphones.)
Sailing The Sand Sea (when playing the actual game, the song isn't done justice. The full thing on youtube is epic.)

Gunslinger Girl (Anime)
The Delgados - The Light Before We Land
Aoi Tada / Lia - Doll
Ootani Kou - Kanashimi

Nabari No Ou
Michiro Oshima - Main Theme: Seijaku
Michiro Oshima - Tobari no Ketsui
Michiro Oshima - Departure
Anamu & Maki - Aru Ga Mama
VELTPUNCH - CRAWL (EVERY TIME.)



Blogvomit
Oh God. Has anyone ever felt this exhaustion so strong that it really makes them wish they were dead? How can they take another step, breathe another breath, think another thought? I feel as if the moment I stop typing, I will shut down. I want to eat and sleep and cry. The weather is so nice today. That makes me feel even more blue. (Don't ask me to explain that.) Lately, the moment I start to get tired, my mood plummets like an anchor thrown into in the sea. I never used to feel like this at just tiredness. It's fuckin horrible.

Damn... I'm more disturbed than I thought. I need help.


Star.
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Paramore

I am a huge Paramore fan, waving my banner from London.

I probably shouldn't be saying this but I first heard of them through the release of the first Twilight movie. Yeah, I'm talking Decode. I know. But it's still an awesome song regardless of what anybody says. THANK GOD somebody had introduced me to Paramore at all. I have been a fan ever since.

I read Josh Farro's blog, which did honestly move me. But truth be told, even though it's sad, it's silly to expect that everyone will always remain the same. People change, and so do circumstances. I guess theirs did. My friend was like, 'Ugh, I hate Hayley now...' And I thought, 'Why?' It's still one person's opinion  I wasn't with the band every step of the way so I have no right to judge anyone. It's not nice to know what they had a pressured experience (see what I did there?) but I don't think it's about being wrong or right, just about being able to move on no matter how much it hurts.

I was soo sad to see Paramore part, but 'Monster' and 'Now' have proved to me that I'm pretty sure I'll like the "New Paramore"s music just as much. As always, the lyrics and Hayley's vocal abilities tug my heart strings.

I'll be screaming for Half-Noise and Novel American too! ^_^

Paramore had an upcoming show on April 5, but tickets sold out in under a minute, so there we go. Another dream crushed, ha. All I could do was listen to their albums again. I love pretty much all of the songs, but I do have my

FAVOURITES

From All We Know Is Falling; Here We Go Again, Franklin, the two-thirds of My Heart

From Riot: Crushcrushcrush, We Are Broken, Born For This

From Brand New Eyes (my favourite album): pretty much all of them, but if I HAD to choose I'd probably say Careful, Brick By Boring Brick and All I Wanted. And Feeling Sorry. And Ignorance. See what I mean? Might as well say all of them.

From the unreleased demo which is AMAZING: Adore, Hello, Just Like Me, Oh Star and Stuck On You (which I just discovered a minute ago is not only from The Summer Tic EP, and not the demo, but also a cover! Damnnn)

Can't wait for the new album.

My favourite Paramore song FULL STOP is 'Stuck On You' which CANNOT get any better in terms of Punk Rock and never gets old.

 -

Now we get to the crunch.

I was listening to Monster again, and in the second verse the words 'call me a traitor' really stuck with me. I was thinking about the whole 'We were living Hayley's dream' thing from Josh's blog, no offence if I got that slightly wrong. Well, because I was thinking about the whole Paramore split, I played the song again from the beginning and tried to decode the song with that lens. What I got was very intriguing.

Lyrics in bold, possible interpretation not-bold.

I AM PURELY SPECULATING HERE. But isn't it interesting??!!!


Cracking The Code
lyrics for Monster, by Paramore


You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water
- The Farros. Basically. -
And we started drowning, not like we'd sink any further
- Paramore was once a unity, obviously they began to fragment and broke apart. Couldn't get any worse. -
But I let my heart go, it's somewhere down at the bottom
- The future of the old band became non-existent so Hayley 'let it go' -
But I'll get a new one and come back for the hope that you've stolen
- Thus came the 'new' Paramore and are trying again with new music -

[CHORUS]:
I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster and eating us alive
- Due to Josh Farro's controversial blog, I guess there were a lot of accusing glares turned Hayley's way from the press and fans and Goodness knows who else -
Don't you ever wonder how we survive?
- Can the band survive without the Farros? -
Well now that you're gone, the world is ours
- The Farro brothers are gone, but the new Paramore still have all their our fans. The world kinda is theirs -

I'm only human, I've got a skeleton in me
- only human, and thus, can't be perfect. -
But I'm not the villain, despite what you're always preaching.
- I guess this is a reference back to the blog. -
Call me a traitor, I'm just collecting your victims
- Now this was tricky. I get the 'traitor' part (the blog again), but could the victims be Paramore fans? -
And they're getting stronger
I hear them calling.
- Paramore fans getting impatient for a new damn ALBUM! Ya damn right we're calling! -

[CHORUS]

Well you find your strength in solution
- solution: leave band. -
But I liked the tension
And not always knowing the answers
- the tension within the band gave them stuff to write about in their music, maybe? Working stuff out together? -
But you're gonna lose it, you're gonna lose it
- Yeah... I don't know what this means. I'm taking it as a jeer. -

[CHORUS, END.]




Star.
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Cub Scouts - Told You So

Heard this song while shopping in H&M in my town in January, heard it again in H&M Westfields and was mesmerised by it, spent ages looking for the lyrics - and I finally found the song!



Star xx
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Gunslinger Doll

My favourite girl, Triela :) (Claes is also awesome.)

There's one thing I still don't understand, and that is how I can continue going about my day to day business, pretending to be happy, pretending to be sane, forcing myself to get up every day, when I'll be dead in about forty years and nothing I did will matter to anyone.

Unbelievable how people can live for a couple decades and die quietly, completely insignificant the whole way through. How rare is it for someone to be so important or have made such a contribution to thousands of people's lives that they are immortal through time? I just don't get it. I don't see the point. But I guess that's why I'm going to counselling, and you're not.

I'm still an avid watcher of Gunslinger Girl on Netflix, and I must say, the story idea, the plot, the characters, the setting (beautiful, beautiful Italy) not to mention of course the amazing soundtrack (my favourite song is TEMA I, I think) is incredible.

I was completely unimpressed that the animation changed in the second season, Il Teatrino, doubly unimpressed that The Light Before We Land was no longer the opening theme, but Gunslinger Girl is just too good to stop watching. Ironically, I was given a compelling end credits theme instead in season two, called Doll.

It is a very beautiful song and also, somehow, very sad, maybe because I could relate to the lyrics... they made me feel so raw (being in my current situation) that as much as I love the song, it upsets me to hear it.

Chorus

Itsuka kiite hoshii kono omoi mo

Kotoba ni wa naranai kedo

Chikara no kagiri o furishibotte

Ikite iku koto o shiru kara

Chorus Translation

I want you to ask about how I feel someday

I don’t express it in words

But I muster the extent of my strength

Because I know I’m going to live

Thinking about what's happening to me now (without going into the morbid details) and thinking about those words, they make me feel relieved and sorrowful at the same time (it's a weird feeling); relieved, because 'I know I'm going to live', bitter and sad, because what's the point in living if I have to suffer?



(Above) I found a version by Aoi Tada, and her voice is very sweet and simple, like it could have been Gunslinger Girl Henrietta herself singing.

Then I found Lia's version, the one they used in the end credits, whose voice is noticeably stronger and more unique. I think I'm leaning more towards hers (below).




I wish someone could help me.

Star.
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Gunslinger Girl

...my latest drug. (Triela is my favourite. (Though Rico has the best name.))

^ Best theme tune ever.

S.

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Guitar God: Joe Satriani

What's happening to me? Is this hormonal?

I was so upset yesterday. I would like to just give up with all this writing malarkey and dance and just said Fuck It All, looks like I'll never get to do the stuff I want to do, but at the same time, I don't think I'll really do it. I'M ASKING FOR HELP. I scare myself sometimes. Does anybody know how disgusting it is to tear your skin up with a craft knife you found in your brother's old school pencil case from years ago? Well let's not even go there then, because I'm getting tired of looking at parrallel scars on my wrists. It's twisted that even in self-harm, I am able to do it neatly. I have never liked mess.

(I hope to God nobody's reading this...) Somebody from the clinic called me yesterday. Finally. Now maybe I can see a f?£$#&*! counsellor.

Today, though, I felt a lot better. (I put the craft knife under my lamp so I wouldn't be tempted.) But I think that was inevitable. I couldn't feel any worse, so I would HAVE to feel better. If I felt any worse today, I wouldn't be alive. My tiny human brain couldn't handle it.

No words now. Just rock.


Joe Satriani - Searching

Mz Dark Star.
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Rob Thomas - Little Wonders

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder,

Don't you know, the hardest part is over,

Let it in, let your clarity define you

In the end, we will only just remember how it feels.

Our lives are made,

In these small hours,

These little wonders,

These twists and turns of fate.

Time falls away,

But these small hours... these small hours

Still remain.

Day 5
Star xx
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Maria Mena - Just Hold Me

...how depressing.

(as beautiful as it is - sorrowfully beautiful.)

Day 3.
SK.
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Born To Die

Please excuse me. I'm just posting some random shit to push my last post down the page - it's not something I want to be the first thing seen on my blog >=(

This is the mellow tones of Lana Del Rey, who enchanted me with Video Games and haunted me all through the Christmas months of 2011 with this song. I used to listen to it on repeat on the train back from work, looking out through the windows at the nighttime London skyline. It was kinda eerie. I can't really explain how it made me feel - I couldn't even say whether the feeling was positive or negative - I guess it feel kind of... sorrowful, but at the same time assured and certain. Kind of confident. Now, I don't what the hell that means, but that's just what came to mind.

Yeah, by the way... I didn't understand the video either.

S.K. x
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Bittersweet Symphony

No change, I can't change, I can't change... I can't change

But I'm here in my mould, I am here in my mould

And I'm a million different people from one day to the next

I can't change... my mould, no no, no... no... no...

Just as one of the comments on Youtube said:
"Not a SINGLE fuck was given that day."

Indeed.

Star xx

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Eagle

"The Eagle is now your guardian."

Underneath my skin, there's an eagle.

Underneath these clouds, there's an ego.

(^ And yes, that is the right way around.)

Peace and Love,
Star xx
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