Brian Tracy's 'Think On Paper' Technique

This is an email from my sister I planned to share but never published, drafted on 20/10/2014. Blast from the past, huh?

'The Discipline of Clear Thinking

Think on paper.

ok so some of this might not be completely relevant but i highlighted in purple the part i thought would give you the most clarity about what to do after a situation has affect you. you can get an answer simply form taking the problems out of your head and putting them on paper.
I would say try this in diary style for 21 days. every single day for 21 days only then see if you feel better. after that things in your life should start to improve.

- When dealing with a problem of the situation, and write down every detail, how it happened, what’s going on, who’s involved, the problems that concerns the cost, write it all down. Think on paper.
Sometimes exactly the right choice pops out at you, it becomes clear, but you wouldn’t have triggered the super conscious solution if you hadn’t thought on paper.

Aristotle said wisdom the greatest of all human desires is the ability to make good decisions which is Experience plus Reflection i.e you have an experience, then you reflect on it, what does this experience mean, to me, how can I use that, what can I learn from it.

If you’re facing difficulties ask: What are my assumptions? What am I assuming about this situation that may not be correct?
Be open to doing something completely different.

Another way To improve your thinking, talk it over with someone that you like and trust and give them the details and ask for their feedback or perspective. If in a relationship, the other person can give you a perspective that completely changes your ideas.

Ask - What if my basic assumptions are wrong, about this job / relationship / product / investment / service. Then what would I do. Be open to doing something completely different, admitting the possibility that you may be wrong and doing something completely different.

The best way to reflect on your experiences – go for a walk, don’t take an ipod or anything, go for a walk 30 or 60 minutes and just walk, and while your walking reflect on things going on at work or at home for quality ideas or clarity.'

It's funny, I called my sister yesterday and she mentioned some decade-old emails she found that we sent to each other, talking about completely random, old, bizarre, outdated things we found interesting or funny at the time. I could practically hear her cringe when she said 'Oh yeah, I used to write in pink comic sans font!'

It is embarrassing to stumble across digital time-capsules, but sometimes you find valuable little gems that you forgot about, like the tip above. It's from The Miracle of Self Discipline by Brian Tracy, which is a wealth of information that's helped me at different stages of my life so far. Well worth looking up.

Star . 

Disassociating From Mental Illness

This is a post I drafted on 16/09/2018 but never published. Blast from the past, huh?

Here's my issue.

After all of the years that my mental illnesses have been mistaken for complacency, laziness, insensitivity, or good old millennial distractedness, when I found out that the symptoms I had pointed to depression, or anxiety, I admit it was a relief because I'd started to believe that I was crazy or any of the other things my mum, older sister, or teachers said I was.

I had no room to be angry at their failure to be open-minded about what could turn a quiet, hardworking child into a neurotic, compulsive teenager, because I just wanted to find out how to make it go away. (I would find the space to be enraged five or so years later.) But what ensued was a years-long battle trying to keep myself together enough to finish my studies, dust off my novels in progress and get back to writing and being the consistent blogger I once was.

As mental-illness became a more widely discussed topic, I began to use it as a word to vaguely describe my problems without having to go into detail, and because I was tired of saying the same things over and over: I'm tired, I'm empty, I don't see the point. I'm suffocated, I feel numb, I'm worthless. This is pointless, and so on. That all sounded far worse than just saying "I'm struggling with mental illness" or "I'm feeling depressed" and just leaving it there, letting the person interpret whatever they want.

This week, I had to take a day off work to see a GP to reassess my mental health needs. I had to wait a month for that appointment, and when I got there, the doctor didn't show. Turned out the secretary had put the wrong address on the letter and without apologising, said that the next available appointment would now be mid-October. I immediately and gratefully accepted but the moment I put the phone down I was furious. It hasn't been the first time that I've been messed around by NHS mental health services and as a consequence felt like no-one cares. Admittedly, a staggering number of people desperately need access to their services which is why I was grateful to get an appointment at all, but as a result nobody is truly given the kind of care they deserve. Ironically, private care would solve that issue but if I could afford that I wouldn't be on a four-month waiting list to see an NHS counsellor for little or nothing.

I've been listening to motivational videos all month, mainly Marie Forleo, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins and Jim Rohn. I put into practice writing down my goals and how I want my life to be, and the type of person I want to be. As I was doing this, it hit me that if I don't want to be quote-unquote 'Depressed' - a Depressed person - then I have to stop identifying with being depressed. Such a simple concept, yet I didn't realise how much I came to rely on that label, using it find out where to get help and where it was safe to talk. Although it's important to me to have that safety net, I can't achieve anything amazing in my comfort zone. Also, since I have been cleaning up my diet and eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, drinking more water, taking time out of my day to doing something calming and relaxing, my mood has improved a lot. Though that might not always be the case, I have to seize this energy while I can.

I don't want to be depressed, or anxious - but joyful, appreciative and peaceful, so this is now my daily affirmation. I'm going to say it every day until I believe it. I don't want to suffer any more. I don't want to focus on the awful things that are always happening in the world and in my social circle. I can't change those things, only myself. I feel desperate to change, but I will turn this into determination to change.

When I think about myself, when I describe myself, I don't ever want mental illness to be a part of that. Easier said than done - but seeing as I said it, I might as well do it.

I wish I could go back and give my younger self a warm hug, and all the love and compassion I really needed and never received from anyone around me at the time. But you can't send love back in time.

Star .

The Best Of Bob Proctor

I want to print this off as a huge poster and stick it up in my room!! Tuning my life to more of the below will surely bring good things. (Or at least better than I'm getting right now.)

This image is from Mind Valley Academy.

Click the link for the full size of this image (and read the quotes properly).

Star xx

Scared Of The Climb

Scared of getting myself out there and exposing myself, allowing myself to be temporarily vulnerable only so I can learn from it and become a better person. Scared of the climb. Worse, scared of doing nothing, of procrastination - saying things and wishing for things that never come to be. Scared of how ambition will change me. Scared of failing.

But more than that, I am excited to succeed, excited for the life that awaits me when I prevail, excited for the happiness and exhilaration I'll feel when I overcome those challenges and most of all excited to live, to actually live, verb, as  feel like at the moment I am waiting for it to kick in. The more I tell myself I have so much ahead of me, the more I believe it. That's worthy of a sideways animesmiley. =]

Indigo Star xx

Ambitions

For background info, read the SUSPENSION post.

I bought a shitload of magazines the other day - SFX and the SFX Fantasy Special, magazines on Sci-Fi, digital art and drawing instructions, and starting your own business. All in all it cost me about £50.

My Mum's eyes went wide when I told her. She said uncertainly, "That's a lot of money to spend on magazines, Star..." Yeah, I know. I told her that, and I also told her it was an investment. I had been waiting to buy some exciting new books but instead I spent it on things with will widen my knowledge of 'My Field' - which by the way I have firmly decided is the ever-evolving fantasy genre - it will give me new skills, and its going towards my 'business'. I'm not telling her what it is yet and I'm not writing it here either. I am excited, as I suppose one should be, and also nervous, but mainly excited. I need to sit down and make plans, like Brian Tracy said in a video. In my mind are lots and lots of concise plans, just waiting to be scrawled onto paper. Just waiting.

My depression comes and goes, at the moment its a weekly basis. This week was pretty good. Last week and really tough. REALLY tough. The week before that was incredible. The week before that was awful.

I met my friend Miss Lovely in the park this afternoon, the sun was pretty when it shone. I told her my plans and the smaller goals I set in motion to achieve the bigger ones, including increasing my credit card limit. When I was younger, I used to say I'd never get a credit card... to explain what has changed would take more time than I care to give right now... but in a word, investment. In an acronym, OPM. So Miss Lovely laughed and said, "You sound so grown up!" I was taken aback because I realised; I did. That kinda scared me. I didn't wanna grow up. The reason I worked so hard for my dream is because my dream (noun) allows me to dream (verb) and be how I used to be when I was younger. So happy and optimistic. But to get there, I have to grow up to make the plans and get on the right path, and I'll learn and grow and mature as I do so. The irony, right?

Miss Lovely implied on other occasions that I was working hard for a future that wasn't here yet and all of our friend at university were doing nothing remotely close as far as we knew. They said they had no clue what they wanted to do. Some killed time by watching TV or going out drinking. I never liked doing those things anyway, but all could I say in response was - the future is going to come around SOMETIME. Either you can be ready for life changes at 25, or 30, or 35, or you can be completely unprepared as still in a false sense of security. I don't think people ever really expect life to hit them. I think that many people exclude themselves. I can't afford to do that.

Five years from now I'll be 26, which I hate to think about. I can be stuck in a horrible job or be on my way to achieving my dreams, and I'm making my choice now. That's the way I see it. And I want more than anything to be well on my way, and in a better place a year from now than still where I am. And nothing motivates me more than (well, motivational videos,) and also see the people around me who do nothing but procrastinate. And if I can't convince them with my words, then I should be an example and convince with my actions. It would make me really happy to see my family happy and doing what they love to do.

I saw my GP yesterday and my counsellor for the very last time today. I think I'll miss her, she's been so helpful to me. Last week I saw Student Life team member and my course leader. Things are coming together, or should I say falling together - slowly. But things are moving. I feel happier because of that.

I don't think I can say any more right now. Now my intention is to complete more university work, write more of my plan, research more, watch more of Fringe, and write my book. I do feel so much happier. I'm glad I can write that on this blog, there needs to be more of the happier posts.


Oh, and I forgot to say my new power word: Ashanami.


Star xx

SUSPENSION

Notice Of Suspension

This blog is now officially on suspension, from at LEAST

 February 2014 to September 2014.

Fine Print.

Mind Numbing... Just What I Needed.

I am getting back on my feet, it's a slow process but isn't it always? I'm just glad that I don't feel as down as I did before. So, overwhelmingly relieved. My Mum can tell. It's making her a bit cheerier, and that makes me even more at peace.

I'm so thankful for the people around me, supporting me at this time. Beyond grateful.

SO, ANYWAAAAY!

I did some calculations, (looked on the blog archive list :3 ) and in 2012 I made 60 posts. That works out to be, on average, 5 a month. Which is really not that much at all! I remember not posting for ages and then posting a lot at once and then drips and drabs. Gonna try and make it consistent in 2014. I now have seven blogs in total... seven days in the week... catch ma drift...

This year, I posted 53 (I think? Including this?) Posts. I was wondering whether to do 7 more and make it even but - no. Why the heck would I do 7 posts in three days? No dude. No.

This last month has been a bit of a bummer, as I said before I haven't written much of my book. That makes me feel a bit *makes a fart noise*.

And as that's a goal very close to my heart, (buried inside, actually) the two blogs I was posting fiction on (One and Two) are sadly languishing away e_e

The one thing that has been cheering me up beyond measure is reading this manga that I have become obsessed with called Psyren, but Toshiaki Iwashiro. I hate to say it but remembering past phases of my life, I seem to be very happy when I have an unhealthy obsession with something. But look, whatever. It's manga. Manga is awesome.

I will do a review of it when I get the chance, ASAP if I can help it. I ended up reading one more volume than I was meant to, so I'm really excited for the next one and that wasn't meant to happen because it won't be released for another month or something. (e_e) That's cutting the long story short. I think between that and trying to put on motivating music, trying to sing a lot more, things are improving. I say that a lot, here and there, but I've kinda got to. I have to keep trying.

This is the sort of mind-numbing music that's been helping me get by lately. Don't usually listen to much music like this, but there are some times when I can't bear to hear myself think.




Strobe Light - by Andy Heller (SOUNDCLOUD)

Trancesaur - by _ensnare_ (YOUTUBE)

The music from this Anime Dress Up Game ^_^ (GAMES WEBSITE =] )




And all of this upbeat music brings me back to the song that got it all going...

If it's still showing, I got the heart from Glitter Graphics. I LOVED that site when I had a Myspace. Such cute things on there.

I don't know how I feel about New Year's Resolutions. I feel that on one hand, what's the point as they are always strongly linked to goals being broken.

On the other hand, I feel that just being proactive enough to ATTEMPT a change is better than doing nothing. Always. So I'm going to do the same thing I did in Jan 2013, which is change my diet. I am actually very eager for it, because when I did it last January I kept it up for 6 months. It may be one of my proudest achievements ever.



Mata ne.

Success Seminar 2013 - OH YEAHH!

To read about Success 2013, click away. If not, transaction terminated, goodbye.

Marlise Karlin workshop at Mind Body Spirit Festival 2013 =]

Today, I had a numbing, awesome and frightening experience that I need to get down to remind myself that it was real tomorrow, hence my typing this at half past midnight. In light of how I feel right now, it's tempting to go back and delete every pessimistic blog post I ever wrote, but I need them to check my progress.

I am writing this primarily for me, this blog being the only virtual diary I've got.

Marlise Karlin, when responding to a question on what the Simplicity Of Stillness actually was, defined it as trying to 'label' and 'A-B-C' things that cannot be labelled, the intangible, trying to give a form to the formless. In truth, that is what I am trying to do in this blog post. In that sense, it seems not purposeful and futile, but I am doing it anyway.

(I love this picture. So intense, I feel like she is looking into my soul)

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Appeal To Abraham Hicks

I hope Abraham can help me at this time.

I am making it my goal to do everything within my power to learn, grow, move forwards and above all be happy. I pray that I learn what I need to learn from those around me, accept that they live in my world, but ultimately focus on my own happiness and well-being and bring positive vibrations into my experience. I understand that I have and am and will get things wrong, but I want to learn how to be better. It's difficult to forever stay in a place that constantly moves towards the positive but I am trying, as I will continue to do until I 'croak'.

There's so much I want to learn. There is so much I am afraid of, like death. I am afraid of my death, the death of friends and loved ones. How do I accept and let go of that fear?

There's so much I want to do in my life. I have so many goals I want to accomplish. I want these things so badly, and although part of me eagerly awaits their arrival, another part fears that it will never come. How do I let go of that fear?

A few months ago, I heard about Amanda Todd for the first time. I found it hard to get to sleep that night. My sorrow that she went through such a horrific experience and that people in the world could be so cruel was immense. It swallowed me whole. There are little things I hear about that make me feel so depressed that for a short while, I feel removed from this world. The earth feels so empty, the couple billion people on it are nothing compared to the vastness of all the planets and stars in the universe.

BUT I UNDERSTAND that I have to keep moving towards a positive vibration, or my experience on Earth will not be a pleasant one.

I want to remember to give more gratitude for what I have in my daily life.

I want to attract the incredible experiences of the world into my life.

I want myself, and my friends and family, to be happy in this lifetime.

So I ask of Abraham Hicks, please bestow your guidance on me. I am already eternally grateful to know that Source Energy is in me, and I only ask to be graced with further wisdom.



With Love,
Me.
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I Mean BUSINESS.

These last few days, the weather had been so beautiful that for London, in March, its just unbelievable.

That's only one factor that's helped add to my positive mood. I feel a lot better physically now I'm not eating so much crap and doing my excerise daily again. I'm also taking this appetite supplement I found in As Nature Intended to help with it. On top of that, I'm continuing to write Battlegame Forfeit, even though The Hunger Games was released this week and the advertisement for it is bombarding me everywhere. Once I put my mind to it, turning that frustration of that into a motivation had really helped.

Oh - and did I mention? I'm starting my own business.

I have to give the credit to the books I read recently; Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, and Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. That sparked the epiphany. I want to control my income. I want to work to benefit myself and help my family, not just the guy who owns the company I work for who then pays me - and I eventually get what's left over after tax. I want to publish my own work, including my novels and so much more. I'm also considering an online business - eBay will be consuming much of my time today, because I reread The Internet Income Detective issues by Jon Street (who is amazing, by the way), and I feel so inspired that I am compelled to do something TODAY. Right now. So I am GOING to make it work, and I'm am GOING to make made a decent start by tomorrow. That's a promise. :)

I must always tell myself; I have a burning desire to be financially independent and I will NEVER STOP until I have realised my goal. I'm quite excited, actually. Being 19 years old, I feel like I've got time to make it work and (hopefully not, but I can't rule this out) make mistakes, so I can learn from them. Anyway, I'm just updating. I won't spend any more time writing this when I could be making a fortune =D Well, I'm off to start a business. Ciao!



Mz Dark Star
Entrepreneur
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Brian Tracy and The Miracle Of Self Discipline

My Progress

Its the first of March, and I feel as if I'm in a completely different place to where I was at the beginning of February, even though technically I'm in exactly the same place, I just left and came around full circle in the space of 29 days. (Leap year, yay!)

Using The Miracle Of Self Discipline, I've managed to implement certain structures into my life that not only order my mind and my time, but also make me always feel as if I'm doing something worthwhile every moment of the day. My day used to be a sluggish mesh of things, now I'm progressing forward and doing a lot of stuff I didn't get to do before.

The moment I wake up, it's either yoga or a power walk. This happens at around 6am every morning, (although only because I start work at 8.30, to be honest. If I started later, I'd probably wake a little later) and I'm doing my Daily Goal Setting diectly after that. Those are both on my Daily Time Management list - anything that not on the list won't be done. I'm always looking at that list throughout the day, and I never forget the stuff I need to do. I feel a lot better now I'm drinking so much more water and eating more fruit.

One of the disciplines was on learning - I'm going to read at least ONE spiritual book a week. That equates to fifty-two books a year, which is equal to a PhD in the field of spirituality. HECK YA. At the moment, I think I'm pushing about seven books a year, which IS good considering that the average adult reads ONE book a year, but I could be doing  lot better, especially as I love to read and did so a lot more when I was younger. So yeah, basically. I'm 'bout to smash my personal record. Bring on Diana Cooper.

The one thing I wasn't aware was going to change so drastically was my preference to things like music. As I've been practising sitting in solitude, I realised just how desperately I needed something as blissful and as simple as silence. When I was the most stressed, the only thing that could calm me and take my mind off my worries was listening to instrumental music that captured my imagination and inspired me (- at the moment, the soundtrack to the Jade Empire and The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword games are the only ones that do it). The good thing was that the lack of words gave only an atmosphere, not a theme. Now I've begun my self disciplines, I really don't like listening to any kind of music with words - because I suddenly feel like the stuff people sing about nowadays are stupid, pointless, egoistic, or plain ridiculous, and have no real emotion whatsoever. The genres I used to listen to, RnB, rock, alternative, indie, dubstep and dance-electronica - all the artists I used to listen to; Drake, Nicki Minaj, etc - kinda bore me now. Rock music, as much as I love it, is too dissonant for my soul right now. Any type of commercial music really irritates me.

I listen to spiritual music a lot more than before; Maya Fiennes, Kate McKenzie, etc. Plus I should really get those old CD's Mama had of the sounds of the sea or waterfalls on my iPod, because that's what's going to keep me calm and focussed. It's old that I feel this way (lol I'm ninteteen, not ninety-nine) but I know that's what I need for the moment. My feelings may change again soon. Who knows.

And GOD - I want to buy SO many crystals. I want to light up my room with them. Them and scratchcards. And plants, to fill it with life and healing energy. I'm going to try really hard to raise my frequency this year, especially with this year (2012) being such a pivotal year for spiritual change, either for better or worse. So, I'm saving up for loads of nice stuff that make me happy. WOOT!

Love and Light, always.
SK. xx

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It Really Was A Miracle

This past week has been a radical change for me. I've gone from being completely depressed and without aspiration, to being utterly and blissful happy and positive for the future.

As many people knew, I was very down in the last few weeks. Those who did know were mainly family - I was so withdrawn that I fell out of contact with a lot of friends, and only now am I beginning to get back in touch with them. The reason for my unhappiness was difficult to explain to those who asked why I looked to sad all the time. Generally I would just tell them that I was just having a stressful time at work, but it was more than that; between work and home, I was miserable. I found escape nowhere. I was worried about the university degree I'm starting in September, worried about these endless books that I've begun and haven't completed, about the new work location I'd moved to and how uncomfortable and exasperated the staff made me feel, what my future would be like and whether it would feel like this. I felt insecure about my looks. I knew that to wallow in that negativity all the time was seriously bad for my health, but didn't know how to turn it around, as I mentioned in my last depressing post.

BUT.

I made a decision about my job that, after all my tears, has lifted a great weight off my shoulders. My eldest brother (lets call him 'Jules'), my sister (lets call her 'Aime') and Annie have helped me through it and talked to me quite a lot about it... in this post I'm literally just going to lay it out and ascertain that I did the right thing.

Sunday before last, I was a bit of an emotional wreck about work. (I had changed locations, so let's call the first job I had Old Job and the place I moved to, where I felt quite on edge and uneasy, New Job.) I was struggling to get on with the staff. Some things take time to get used to, but this was really getting me down. I felt as if I wasn't doing as well at New Job. I already know that little things bother me easily, and it's one of the greatest challenges that I have to overcome when it comes to me, but on that Sunday (the 19th), I really felt as if I'd reached my limit. In my opinion, crying over work is absolutely not worth it, because nothing should make anyone feel that upset - if that's the case, somebody needs to change job. But I was in tears. I felt pointless for being that sad, but at the same time I didn't want to move yet because I didn't want to feel like I was running away from my problems; I'd only been there for three weeks.

Jules saw that I'd been upset and spoke to me for a little while (for the record, this hasn't happened in a very long while, I don't see him that much) and offered me a suggestion that completely terrified me, although I knew it was a sure-fire way to address the problem. The next day when I was leaving for work, he spoke to me again and gave me the courage I needed. I managed to talk to some people and for the time being, I'm moving back to my old location, which was much simpler than I ever could've imaginedas a colleague had recently left, which was unexpected and quite sad, as I spoke with her quite a bit. It's a solution that I was very much hoping for, and I should have felt happy. But even after that, I still felt down.

On the phone to Aime, she told me (with her mouth full of Beef Casserole) "I don't understand what the problem is. You got what you wanted, you should be happy!"

I agreed. I should be. My mother very HELPFULLY (that's sarcasm) made a point about problems in life coming back around when you run away instead of tackle them. I'd already had the thought that maybe I'd run out on a problem instead of addressing it, so I resented her for being that injection of doubt when I was trying to be happy. But at the same time, I wasn't 'running out' on the problem strictly speaking, but taking holding of an opportunity at Old Job that I was a afraid I wouldn't get again. I wanted to stay with my old team.

Then, of Wednesday evening (the same day I'd been speaking to Aime on the phone,) I listened to 'The Miracle Of Self-Discipline', by Brian Tracy.

Basically... I felt as if I'd been retaught all the things I had known and forgotten at some point, only I was being reminded of them at a time when I really, really needed it. That in itself completely changed my mood. Everybody in my family who's heard this has been motivated in their life, and I felt exactly the same. It was like a light in a dark room.

More than anything, though, it was a wake-up call. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being miserable. The Miracle Of Self Discipline addressed issues I was having to do with my psychical, mental and emotional health, as well as giving me the correct tips to straighten out my life such as Goal Setting and Time Management. It's been about five days now that I've been working through the Nine Disciplines, and by doing that I feel healthier, happier, and very much as if I'm facing several of my problems at once. Suddenly, all the things I want to do in my life are possible again.

At the same time, I've been reading 'Discovering Atlantis' by Diana Cooper and Shaaron Hutton and it's reminded me to be so grateful for everything I have and that I am so blessed to have so many people that care about me and support me. Thinking in this way fills me with a lotta love. :) 

Now, thinking back on my dilemma, I am happy and comfortable with the decision I made. I AM going to make it work, but just like Aime said, "When you think about it, if a manager had to let you go, they would just do it. And you wouldn't have a choice. So if you need to leave somewhere to be happier somewhere else then just leave." Now back at Old Job today, I felt so HAPPY that I could've been a little bubble of joy about to burst. It's been so long since I felt like that. I feel as if my self-esteem has boosted, AND So much of my life has fallen back into order, which is, y'know... great. :)

 

Peace, Love.

Star xx

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