My mum has been an empty-nester for just over a year. This has happened later in her life due to being the mother of four Generation X children, one Generation Y child (the millennial - that's me!) and one Generation Z child. By the time my and my younger sibling were over eighteen, the job market and the housing market were such a mess that we wouldn't have been able to support ourselves if we'd moved out. All our friends, now adults, are still living with their parents too.
But for Mama, her children were finally all "independent". She'd desperately wanted us out of her house for years and was sick and tired of dealing with us. When the time finally came and she had the four-bedroom home she'd lived in for thirty years to herself, she wasn't ready for it. She was unmotivated, uncertain, sad and lonely. There was nothing to distract her from her discontent.
My mum finds happiness where she can, but moments of emptiness will encompass her and make she gaze blankly into space. She's often said she hasn't achieved all in her life that she wants to, which is strange because she can never say with certain what she wants to achieve. When she talks about what she wants to do in life, her answer always changes but she eventually arrives at the same conclusion; 'I just don't know.' Even saying the words makes her face crumple, on the verge of tears. My heart breaks every time.
I take after my mother a lot, in case it wasn't already apparent. I wonder if observing her is like looking into my own future.
Me and Mama have certainly had our struggles but naturally, I never want to see her miserable. Often she does things that sabotage her own progress when she starts something new. So maybe I can't help her at all, and she has to find her own truth. But I wish I could give her the kind of solace that, even living apart from her children, leaves her feeling fulfilled.
Star .
Dreaming: an awful nightmare about snakes, but that was a couple of days ago when I was nervous about a job opportunity.
Researching: writing prompts
