I still don't understand it.
As a kid, I was so awkward and introverted. I was blissful in my own company, making up fantasy worlds in my head.
As I've gotten older, benefiting from wonderful people supporting me through mental health challenges, it's become harder and harder to face these hardships totally alone. Not to mention how crushing it feels discovering that the people I could once turn to for support have disappeared from my life.
It hurts terribly.
My original plan at the end of 2019 was to find some new friends based on my hobbies and start going to meetups and short courses. But then COVID-19 struck and that plan was out the window for 2020. I never really came up with a new plan because I was too busy, y'know, trying to survive. Weathering the storm.
But with each passing month, I feel like I'm becoming more hollow inside. It's not just because of social distancing, isolation in general, and my resulting loneliness from a lot of other millenials being unwilling to socialise in person and not through a screen. That's a big part of it though.
I don't want to rely on social interactions to be happy. I still need to regain that old contentment of feeling enough being by myself.
But I also don't know anyone who's successful and said they've had a fulfilling life, without being surrounded by a supportive family or team.
