The Beauty of Minimalism

I was taken in by the idea of minimalism in 2018. It struck a chord with me because I come from a family of hoarders, generally speaking. The clutter was suffocating for me. Don't get me wrong - it wasn't awful like what you might see on a TV show, but my parents and many of my siblings had a bad case of 'Just In Case'. So countless things were kept 'just in case', gathering dust over the next decade.

Discovering minimalism was a breath of fresh air, and it wasn't at all how I imagined; I'd conjure up the image of a lone person sitting in a bare, white room with only a bed and a lamp. Understanding that this practice was actually about consciously and purposefully choosing what did and didn't belong in your living space was a profound realisation for me.

I began to see that it wasn't just about abandoning everything, including sentimental items with emotional resonance or practical items that weren't currently in use. An artist keeping a whole room of art materials that they actually used and added value to their life could be part of a minimalist lifestyle. Alternately, keeping a collection of books that are never read and could disappear without anybody noticing probably aren't adding value to that person's life. Even in a very clutter-free home, those books are an unnecessary addition and would probably be better off in a new and loving home.

My space has become so much lighter. I let go of so many things I hung onto needlessly, some of which I thought I'd never part with. The biggest challenge for me has been accepting that it's not a sign of failure to acknowledge that some of the things I invested time and money into no longer speak to who I've become and the place my life has arrived at. I'm not the person I used to be, so saying goodbye to those material possessions actually created the potential to engage in even better and more meaningful things.

Star .

What We Don't Know About Health

It bothers me a LOT that so much of what forms the foundation of health advice right now was so recently discovered. And in the past, so many people lived in such a way that was detrimental to their health, but they didn't know that then.

Life-saving knowledge and technologies will become available in the future, but we won't survive to benefit from them.

That's really depressing, but I'm trying to use it as an opportunity to say - all I can do is the best with what I know now.

Star . 

"Hello? Are you there?": Helplines for Loneliness, Depression and Suicide

I used to have a big aversion to calling helplines.

At that time, I was being bounced around between counselling services trying to find the right one. With each new face, I'd have to tell them my story from the top and as you can imagine, quickly became very distressed at having to relive the reasons I was seeking counselling over and over again.

Calling a helpline felt no different. I wanted to speak to someone who knew me and wouldn't have to make guesses about what would help me.

But now, being completely isolated with no-one I trust, helplines are a blessing. I've called the suicide helpline HOPELINE a grand total of two times, and count myself lucky things aren't worse. More recently I've called Samaritans if I just feel lonely, or an episode of depression has me in a vice grip and immobilised. Being on my own for so many months now, not visiting anyone and no-one visiting me, speaking to a real live person who listens carefully and responds to what I've said is so... reassuring. I feel relieved and calmed. That in itself is wonderful and awful at the same time.

When I used to work in retail about ten years ago, sometimes we'd get elderly customers who'd eagerly talk to us sales assistants for ages after they'd paid. They were very sweet, but impatient customers waiting in the queue would watch and huff, waiting to be served next. I guess those elderly people would either be totally oblivious or not care. I remember wondering if it was because they were lonely and glad to have someone to talk to. My young and blissfully unaware mind then thought, 'If that's the case - that's got to be one of the worst and saddest things ever.'

Star . 

If you are experiencing loneliness, depression, or suicidal ideation,

call Samaritans on 116 123 (in the UK),

or find the hotline number for your country on Befrienders.org. 

Who Do You Think You Are?: Self-Righteousness on the Web

I don't feel I have the expertise or the right to ask others to give up their valuable time reading the shit I write, even if it's good shit. I also don't want to join the imposter syndrome club, it's oversubscribed.

I'm deeply troubled about putting my voice out there and writing articles and web content - less worried about it being ignored than I am worried about it being so deeply despised that somebody would want me dead.

But for some, that's a good thing. Whether people love or hate the article - they care about it. It made an impact. I know in a business sense it's far worse to be ignored. But I've never been the business-savvy kind.

Star . 

What An Idiot!: Pointing the Finger on the Web

Despite being a millennial that grew up with and on the internet, watching it evolve into the beast it is now, the increasingly hostile attitude of people online is terrifying and paralysing. It took a lot of courage to even return to this blog posting quasi-anonymously.

Social media is unrecognizable from what it was 10 years ago. It is awe-some and awful in equal measures. People are very quick to judge and point the finger, and there's a lot less tolerance for somebody sharing an opposing view.

It unnerves me because when I log off and go outside, I have to share a planet with these dreadful people. These same sons of bitches are walking around, manning checkouts, running banks, driving buses and whatever else. I don't want to squint at every new person I meet trying to scrutinise whether they're soulless enough to troll and defame and dehumanise someone online. By association, I must be dreadful too.

Star . 

Forced Smiles: Putting on a Brave Face In Emotional Turmoil

I consider it my duty to remain positive, even in the face of bad news. As a result, when I first hear the news I often react very well - I'll laugh it off with ease, and give a genuine smile if I can bear it.

After the moment has passed, I'm hit with the full force of what's happened. Sometimes, it's earth-shattering and turns my world upside down, like when I was laid off from my job. Other times it's like slowly sinking into sadness, like when a friend cancels our lunch a few hours before we're due to meet.

In both cases, I completely understand why it happened, but that knowledge didn't stop the feeling of a rug being pulled from under my feet. In the case of the lunch meet, especially because it's happened so many times before. 

It's life - life happens. I know this, so why doesn't it hurt any less?

Star .